You have to try on a pair of sunglasses
with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop,
but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
Three hours and three meetings after lunch,
you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
You drink from a soda can in which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes,
drifts and spits every time you move away.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
You can't look up the correct spelling
of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
You have to inform five different salespeople in the same store that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.