There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" until the cops showed up.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cutoffs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.
Tuxes would have team logos on the back
and the Nike shoes would have matching team colours.
June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically,
but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger
or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old)
would get punched in the head.
Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events
at half-time or between innings.
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party.
The cost of strippers and booze really does add up.
Instead of a sit down dinner or a buffet,
there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of barbecue.